Meet your hosts. Yes, they are really cousins. They have the same grandfather and grandmother. Had. Fuck cancer.

Joseph Neal is the manager of the third best Taco Bell in all of Davenport Iowa. He has degrees in sociology and astronomy from the University of Colorado or Colorado University, and used to be in a rock and roll band. This one time, in rock and roll band camp, Joe arm-wrestled an alligator for three hours (not a euphemism) and was voted “most likely to manage the best Taco Bell in Iowa.” He’s getting there.

Jason Mark is 45 years old and feels it every morning when he wakes up and falls down the stairs towards a cup of coffee. He lives in Seattle, Texas, one of the only cities that is excluded from maps as a copyright trap against those who would plagiarize from Google, Rand McNally, and Maporama. Jason is also the show engineer so lob your complaints at him.