Hey it’s the first show of 2020, even though it isn’t, even. An hour quasi-philosophical partially earnest bovine-created fertilizer. You can judge things by the way they smell, but no two people have the same nose. #deep
Archives
153: The Shaggies, Part Two
The second but no less narcissistic half of our 3rd Annual Award show. A new set of judges, and a new set of categories.
152: The Shaggies, Part One
Took us a while but we finally got our act together and it’s time. For what? Self Indulgence. How’s that different from normal? We’ve got a celebrity panel picking the best of our best. This is part one.
151: No More Helicopters
Xmas episode for 2019. Last episode of the year. Featuring Joe’s dad and my uncle, Double Barrel. Lots of talk about socks. And jerks who don’t appreciate their gifts. She bought you a MEDIUM, dude, that all by itself is a compliment. Jesus.
150: Tantra Flopp’n
Show 139. Which is about show 150. Which is this show, which is about show 139, which is also show 140. Frankensteining. Pink Flamingoid. Cantalouped commentary. White Rabbits.
149: Joyful Communication
Random ass show about proton pump inhibitors, incestuous music genres, homeless tent cities, creativity, and toe thieves who drive Teslas. There, there’s your scavenger hunt. Go for it.
148: The Ultimate Pronoun
Another super-early in the AM episode, complete with the East Coast’s Ian Sane joining us. To talk about stuff. You know, “stuff.” Joe’s done montages about “stuff” and we tend to talk a lot of “stuff” in general; we would surely win the “stuff for brains” podcast award if there were one. STUFF!
147: Abandon No Cats
Winging it with Shags in this episode. Talking about stray cats (not the band) and Captains Save a Ho and Rednecks in Thailand. Lizzo. Radio Head. Disney Plus. Racist Disney movies. Grabbin crotches at Disneyland. Same old same old.
146: Caterpillars on a Werewolf
Thanksgiving episode. We’re thankful for YOU, listener. And mystery dinner theater, green bean casserole, beer, and a certain Sr. Anitez. Get on the down train, we’re going to the land of the Potato Eaters.
145: Moving Toward Codgerism
Episode 145 is about a man who is 46 and 2, which is 48. Topics are the usual. Joe did Jason a solid by getting the important people to wish him a happy one. There’s poetry. There’s outtakes. There’s montage. It’s everything I could have asked for.
144: Taste the Kielbasa Water
We’ve done a gross of episodes! So gross. Today’s epi is about farts and if you close the door when you pee. Shags, who is terrified of Facetime, is on the show. She doesn’t fart though.
143: Not An Experience
Random show. Topics include transgender athletes, milky bananas, auto chess, Fitbits that track your whinin’, and Celine Dion. Not one single word about Ariana Grande though. Pity.
142: Smelloween
Annual Halloween episode. Horror movies, haunted houses, a montage, horrorscopes, music, etc. Lots of etc. As Dolly Parton once said: “That is not dead which can eternal lie, And with strange aeons even death may die.” Enjoy
141: Denver Airport
It’s Fun Time Shaggs’ two-year anniversary of being on JBC! So let’s talk conspiracy theories! Why did Skull & Bones direct George Soros to change Coke? JBC: putting the “ill” in “illuminati.”
140: Phoenistein Part Two
Here’s the “better half” of last week’s two-hour podpalooza where Joe and I talk about, uh… episode 150, more or less. I can’t remember. Joe edited this all and it sounds amaZeballZ with TWO capital Zs!
139: Phrankonix Part One
So we got off to a rough start on this one but like a phoenix rising from the asses when recovered and recorded for an extra hour. Then Joe frankensteined it all into two magical episodes. Here is part one.
138 Markie Wood Chopple
We trashed this episode. It was so out of control Joe had to edit it. Show went from a 9 to 10 thanks to those edits. Had a guest listener and even though we tried too hard to impress him we still did magic. Magical magic!
137 Hide-a-Dead
Terrible episode. Joe was great and so was special guest Danger Lee Daniels, but Jason tried too hard to talk about the issue of cancel culture in comedy. Fart jokes to the rescue at the half-way mark.
136: Between Two Funs
Joe is taking the show off and in his place not one but TWO extremely excellent human beings: Funtime Shagg and Laura “Expensive Wine” Pauleen. Mostly we talk about Liam Neeson.
135: Overfluffed
Didja know: tears don’t fall in outerspace? Or: you can scream until your lungs bleed? You can. Timbe the drummer is our guest on yet another donkey-show inspired episode.
134: The Taylor Swift Phenomena
Music episode, one of two, this one is mostly about Tool. Their new album, and how big our fanboy-ons are. Also, there’s jokes about your butt. They’re really damned funny.
133: You Sussin’ This?
The boys are busy. Busy as all heck. What with the stupid kids’s cartoons, the potatoes, the wackos on Facebook, and, get this: NEW LISTENERS? MAYBE? Anyway. Managed to squeeze another episode. Chicken.
132: Mexico Show
An episode about Mexico. Did you know that Mexico is the world’s largest beer exporter? Do you know how big my fridge is? This show, by the way is, is sort of mess.
131: Animal Style
Another show about animals (remember, kids: don’t f**k ’em). With special guests Gus the Velvet Puma and Jen the Puma Trainer. Hamster balls (the plastic ones you run in) and the Puma’s love of cocks (cock is a name for rooster) and pit bulls, oh my.
130: Bacotel Grande
It’s JBC in the AM! We woke up at the butt crack of dawn to record a random-notes show. Mostly about Jason’s pervo-obsessions, but also about tootsie rolls and guitars. Speaking of: Joe plays his guitar on this one!
129: Safe Word
Another movie episode, although we tried hard as hell to talk about other things as well. What do YOU think is the funniest movie of all time? No, you’re wrong, it’s Amadeus. Balls.
128: Fillums, Feelum.
An episode about movies. With an Obscenitized Song ™ and some JBC News. I’m really struggling here to remember what we talked about. Amy Adams, the purity of horror, and, uh, branding. Or something.
126: Just the Five of Us
Sorry. Sorry! This is very late, out of order, and stuff. This is Jason in the same physical space as Joe, LP, Shags and White Chocolate fog. We talk about drugs. Gotta stop typing and hit the post button!
127: Bent Over and Taken to the Cleaners
Hey, what about episode 126? Working on it. In the meantime, here’s a random episode. Not even going to call it “bareback” or whatever we call it when we’re unprepared. It is what it is. It mentions Phish, fwiw. Once.
125: Zulpez Odepise
Puzzle episode. Mostly talking about puzzles and escape rooms and stuff. Includes a lengthy divergence on why social media moguls are evil. Skip that part. Bonus: download, print, and solve the crossword puzzle I made.
124: Cold Dog
A few days late cause of the 4th. An episode about the 4th. Apologies: Jason sucks on this one. But Joe is good. Joe’s always good. Why do you think they call it Cuppa Joe?
123: Macaw Ha Ha
Writing the blurb before the show just in case it goes very late. That way I won’t put off posting until Sunday again. Sorry about that. Oh, and this is the parody episode.
122: Blockbuster Butt Umbrella
In this episode Joe and Jason discuss how long it took them to get to 500k listeners, what they spent their first million on, and how often Kate Middleton has called to ask for advice.
121: Smooth Biscuits
Not a father’s day episode. But with fathers. And uncles. Uncles day episode. Much hilarity. Golf. Sandy B. Stories. Crappy Skype Moments. Half a bottle of wine. And a poem. Awww…
120: The One Not About Friends
Music makes the heart grow flounder. Or something. On this epsiode we have special guest Deej, a music connoisseur, aficionado, and other Europe words. We also have a music trivia. And the filthiest montage do date. And it’s musically filthy, win-win
119: Banana Hammock
High five to The Todd. Anyway… a rando-episode where we discuss esoteria, desiderata, detritus, dentures, gentrification, the gap-tooth-glasses-choker trifecta, things that shouldn’t be done to bread…. or should they? (They shouldn’t.)
118: More Killin’
Murdersode Part II: This Time There’s Women. This week we’re talking about the great American pastime once more, with the help of the ones and only LP and FT Shags. They’re perspective lends a bloodthirstiness our musings. Say it with me now: murder…
117: I Like Killing
MURDER, they spoke. Or wait, maybe: MURDER, they babbled about. In this episode we talk about a subject near and dear to the heart of American culture. What with the movies, TV shows, books, love, revenge, and money. Good times!
116: Chocolate Sheet Cake
Happy Mother’s Day. Here’s an episode that even Joe’s and Jason’s moms can listen to. Low on the vulgar. High on the sweet. But still silly as heck. Heck, who do you think we got our silliness from? THANKS MOMS!
115: MotherFunner
This is the “pre” episode to our mother’s day episode, which will be launched next Sunday. This is us getting some rather adult content out of our systems. Sincerely. Like, we’re sincere when we want to, for example, wish MILF porn stars Happy Mother’s Day. Seriously.
114: Montgomery Ward
We forced ourselves to changes subjects as often as possible on this one: speaking in tongues, disasters, microrgasms, supergirl, Starfarers of Catan, Dr Seuss… still more honest than recent congressional hearings.
113: Never Slorf Left on a Grandma
We’re back from “vacation” and a “work conference” to talk about how great Mexico is (no sarcasm; I love that country) and how filthy Joe is. He says he’s going to try and change. I say, no way, Jose (see what I did there?)
112.5: JBC Classic
They boys are away, so instead of preparing an episode in advance, here’s a blast from the past. #81: Animal, don’t F-Em. Featuring Funtime Shags. And narwhals, apparently.
112: Villainy
Hannibal Lecter. The Joker. Huey Lewis (of “The News”). What do they all have in common? Listen and find out. Or don’t. We’re no heroes, Joe and I. Nor be we villains. Insert joke here. Jesus I’m tired.
111: Second Coming
We had so much fun last week talking about flesh films we decided to do it again and make a foursome. Funtime and Pauline on the scene to lend a female perspective to full frontal fotography, as it were. So to speak. Splooge.
110: Gulp Diction
A quivering mound of love pudding. A podcasted personification of popsicle rain porn. Yeah, we’re talking about photographs, films, and literature about people having intercourse. Cinematic sexual intercourse. Irony: if porn does its job, you will end up LESS horny. Think about it.
109: Touring with Ratt
Themeless episode. No mention of Neil Diamond or NASA at all. But lots about ‘comedy,’ and artists in general. And books. And two endings! Because we’re sloppy little ninjas.
108: The That Was
It’s the first day of spring, so we talk about winter. We hate it. We hate it so much it’s hard to talk about so we talk about other things. Hot violin players. People we’d like to beat us up. And really REALLY bad impressions of Christopher Walken and Snoop Dogg.
107: Sham Rock
On a soft old day the boys made a podcast. Jeanie Mac, it were a feckin deadly convo. They spake of ol’ tings Oirish, the Patty’s Day and the whatnot. ‘Twere a merry time. Come here to me, was going to call the show “Yell Barf,” listen and hear why.
106: Shark Highschool
We missed a week because I was sick. But we’re back. Dreams. The dream police. They live inside of my head. Come to me in my bed. To arrest me. Oh no. With Ryan, LP, & Double-Barrel telling us what the (sleep) dream about.
105: Right Unders
Full disclosure: Jason, a privileged as f**k cis white male, thought he could say a few things about feminism. Pro-feminism things, to be sure, but, well… Joe had to edit this down so it wouldn’t be a total disaster. We were supposed to talk about leftovers. Oh well.
104: Playdoh Spaghetti Factory
Coulda called this episode: F*** Central 101, Gummy Worm Cthulhu, The Double Strange, Safari Park, Three-Fingers, Cop Car, Notre Dame, Jerk-Off Bell Grande, Spine Viagra… in other words, it’s the Valentine’s Day episode, with special guests Laura and Ryan.
103: Dom Deluwheezin’
Health episode. Extra Special Guest “Double Barrel D-Dog Fresh. Things discussed: “Our “St. Louis Rams” mistake from ep. 102 explained. The winner of the 2019 JBC Ad Of The Year. The philosophy of stupidity. Obscenitized Nirvana. Oh, and health.
102: Stupor Bowl
Episode CII is all about Super Bowl LIII, and if you combine those, you get CIILIII, and yes, we are silly. See how that works? Wanna listen to some nonsense about half-time shows? Time Travel? Ben Affleck? Gallagher? No? They don’t listen. (Please listen).
101: Spare Ribs n’ Spam
Want to learn about Keto? Then listen to this episode instead. Because Joe and Jay “chew the fat” (PUN!) about stuff they really don’t know anything about. With authority. Then in the last 15 minutes we try to be funny. Pass or fail? Dunno. Listen.
100: Holy Crap We Did 100 Episodes
100th Episode! Seriously! We did 100 motherfucking episodes! I mean, can you believe it. I mean, Jesus Hill-Jumping Christ. One hundred. Ciento, as they say. One Hundo! That’s a one, with two zeroes behind it! I need to change my pants!
099: The Hostes with The Mostes Ketoses
Happy New Year. Want to hear a story about man who tries Keto via Denny’s and KFC? Can you read Braille? Do you speak Gaelic? Tune in to the best show we’ve made all year.
098: Year-End Self-Indulgence
Another year down, and your favorite bozos have somehow made it. Proof positive: the year-end “awards” show where we play you clips you’ve already heard and have our panel of erudite judges judge them. Featuring: Double Barrel Darryl, Shags, LP, and Ryan. Ryan? Yes, the Vanilla Chocolate Fog himself, that Ryan.
097: A Big Red Beanie With a Pom
Xmas episode, 2018. Doing the Running Man, shooting streamers all over the place, juggling balls. That’s how we celebrate the birth of Jesus Beatific Christ. Xmas horror films, Spider Werewolf Man, and easily THE greatest song parody EVER written. So obscene, so socially accurate.
096: Heinous Cough
Oh snap. I forgot to post the show! I was tired, see, and way too drunk to think straight. On Friday morning. When I was supposed to do it. Sorry. I don’t remember what we talked about. Tequila probably.
095: Psychic Midget Joke
Another notes episode, segwaynusing into your headspace. Tweets and twits, bad movies and worse jokes, fight recap, you name it. Giggles galore. Giggles Godot. Waiting for Gal Gadot to Giggle. Okay no.
094: Dong Dong!
One of the greatest bands of all time, the Beatles, suck. One of the most magical places on Earth, Disneyland, sucks. One of the ugliest faces on the planet, Jason’s, sucks. And so it goes. Five rounds, no holds barred, Joe and Jay in a cage match to the death. Or to the silly. Both.
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093: Ingrateful Bastards
Holy cow, how long has it been since we posted a show? I have no idea. I mean, I could look, but I’mm too lazy. I don’t even know what we talked about on this one. Thanksgiving, I guess. Turkey day and “family” are why we were absent for a bit. (I have literally re-written this sentence five times because I can’t think of a good way to end this blurb. Family fried my brain).
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092: Fruits of the Devil
Evil. Joe is taking his better half to see a play called Wicked on the night of recording this, so we’re talking about evil. What it is. Who it is. How to spell it. How to, shall we say, smell it. Special guest Ian Sane is back and graces the two J’s with his evil presence. Question: what’s the most evil breakfast you can think of that someone would eat? We don’t address that all on the show. I’m just asking.
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091: William Sonoma OXO Smooth Edge Can Opener With Easy Turn Grip
The apocalypse is nigh. That’s means it’s close. When the brown stuff hits the blowy thing, what will you do? Who will you be? Will you be a survivor, or survivor food? Will you have a can opener? Because if you don’t have a can opener, let’s face it: you’re intercoursed. Tune in for tips and tricks. Or trips and ticks. Or whatever. No you shut up.
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090 Barry Mahalonow
ʻO kā mākou huakaʻi hele. ʻO ka hapalua o nā poʻe holo me nā fam i Hawaii, e noho ana ma ka mokuʻo Maui. E hele mai inā hoʻoloheʻoe i ka hanaʻino i ka’ōlelo.
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089: Sometimes, Tentacles are Better
Halloween is here! Woohoo! Special guest and friend of the show “Uncomfortable Coffin Pillow” Shags joins the Js to talk about: senility, forests, Hawaii, and other scary stuff. Just like the last time we did a Halloween episode. A few TV shows and movies are mentioned. And so is Carla Giganadindo. Boom, mother fu**ers.
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088: Mr. Ballsvedere
Keeping the ol’ No-Topic-Tober ball rolling by having no theme in this episode, which means we end up talking about everything. Bloody movies, ASMR, trypophobia, fast food, sex workers, shakes, frottage and getting on a health punt. There’s an argument for cancellation, and it is filthy. Enjoy.
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087: On the Open House
TBH, we’re so woke on this shooketh lit episode, bruh. We talk about poop, a sick Ozzy Ozbourne, lesbian PE teachers, homecoming, and the effects that Annie Lennox has on Joe’s dog, Jesus Barking Christ. This is a no-topic-tober episode, obviously, but Fun-Times Shags special guests so it is 100 percent worth listening to. She is very on fleek.
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The Word “Humor” Is In Quotes
This is supposed to be an episode about Podcasts and it sort of is because basically whenever we realize we’re off target we just say “I wonder if there’s a podcast about…” etc. Easy.
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085: Buffafructalo
The Welcome to Autumn Episode, where we meander from topic to topic, from Mr. Roarke to the equinox, leaves, being your authentic self, scary-ass scare crows, and the like. We donkey dick the top 40, fart a few speeches, and in general, make you suffer through our sobriety. Because if space clowns can write songs about their junk, why can’t we make a podcast that you feel in your plums.
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084: Health, It’s What’s for Breakfast
Yeah, so, this is health part 2. The thing is, I’m really too drunk to write up this synopsis. Sorry. Double Barrel Daryl (sp) special guests (verb) as we talk about: smoking, drinking, diabetes, hospitals, doctors, and other health stuff. Look, I don’t know if any of that is true, but I just projectile vomited all over my computer screen, so listen to the show and deal with it.
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83: Not the Fallen Bits
This is the health episode. You know how puking can be healthy if you’re sick? Yeah, this episode is us getting healthy. Not for the weak of stomach. Unless you want to have your stomach reject everything inside it when you hear this episode. Alcohol is involved.
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082: Back to the Action
Sorry folks, my fault, late episode, more on Monday, I promise. Anyways. Forests, fried chicken, Stompy the bear, going solo on a Taco Bell (not a euphemism). What do they all have in common? Listen and see. Wait. Listen and hear. No, that sounds wrong too. Listen and find out. Ha. Nailed it. FANTASTIC.
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Don’t Call It A Hiatus
This previously posted show (#37: Bagadonuss) is the most meta podcast ever. Going back centuries. This was the lost episode, good one for the can to use later (like we are right now). We talk about the missing week (post meta). The blurb mentioned that this was not a good week for JBC (tres meta (both Spanish and French ‘tres’). Pre-Yeti (marvel at the where we came from). All in all, after 81 one episodes, reposting is not just allowed, it’s obligatory. Meta obligatory.
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